Bigger And Bigger!

So here I am, in all my misery. Aren't I just glowing? I am now 29 weeks, 3 days preggers, and I am miserable.  I am tired all the time! My blood sugars are great one day, and screwed up the next, even though I eat the same exact things almost every day. Everyone tells me all my weight is in my belly, and boy do I believe it! I can no longer bend over, and forget about tying my shoes. Brandi has to buckle my sandals for me every morning.

I am getting nervous about Harper coming.  I am confident that I can do this on my own. I mean, what choice do I have? I haven't heard from her daddy in months, and I don't expect to any time soon.  But being confident doesn't mean it's going to be easy. In fact. it's not going to be easy at all.  I have a lot of support from my family and friends, but when it comes down to it, I am the one who will have to do every night feeding and change all those dirty diapers, and still work a full time job.  I get overwhelmed just thinking about it.

But, I know she is worth it.

And This Is Why People Keep Asking Me If I'm Having Twins

Right now, I am 21 weeks, 3 days pregnant. I know, I look like I am ready to deliver. The funny thing is, I have only gained 8 pounds so far!

I am not big on documenting every month with pictures....in fact, I hate having my picture taken in general.  But, since I know this will be my last baby (I am having my tubes tied so no more oops happen!) I figured I may as well embrace the belly.

I also had my hair cut on Friday. It was the first time I have ever gone somewhere and had a professional do it, and even though it is shorter than I normally wear it, I really like it.

My Family

This picture was taken at my baby shower. My mom is sitting on the couch, her five kids (including me!) are standing behind the couch, and she is surrounded by 15 of her 20 grandchildren.  Three were missing and two are still cooking! Lol! It has been a very long time since us five kids have been together, and I am so blessed that they celebrated my little Harper with me.

It's A Girl ~ Little Miss Harper

I found out a few weeks ago that I am having a baby girl.  The genetics counselor called with the results of the tests I had done, and after telling me everything came back normal - YAY - she asked if I wanted to know the baby's sex. Of course I did, and I was thrilled when she said I was having a little girl.  It was no secret that I wanted another daughter.

This past weekend, my sisters came down from up north for a visit, and to my surprise, they threw me a baby shower! I had no idea! Check out all the goodies I got:

 The baby bathtub in the front is full of clothes, blankets, towels, and other baby things. I love the car seat and stroller....they definitely say girl.  I love everything, and I'm sure Harper will too.

 My sister made this elephant diaper cake. I can't even begin to tell you how adorable it is!

And of course, my mom made the cupcakes! Are you guys surprised that my entire shower was done in pink elephants? Lol! I have the best family ever!

Doctors, Doctors, And More Doctors!

I have had a few doctor's appointments over the last two weeks.  The first was a visit to my regular ob, who I adore! This doctor delivered all three of my other kids, and I am thrilled that she is going to deliver this one, too  This visit got a little scary when two nurses, and then the doctor, couldn't find the baby's heartbeat. My doctor finally brought in the portable ultrasound, and there was my little booger, doing flips! Apparently she didn't want to be still enough for them to hear her heartbeat with the doppler! I also had to do my sugar test at that visit, and I failed miserably. I wasn't surprised, though, since I had gestational diabetes while pregnant with Kasi.

My second doctor's visit was with a genetics counselor. Thankfully, my mom accompanied me to this visit, because I wasn't sure which, if any, tests I wanted done on the baby. After listening to the counselor talk and weighing my odds, which are higher due to my age, I decided to have the chromosome test done. It was a simple test, they just took my blood.  I am not sure I understand exactly what they do, but they can separate my blood from the baby's, and then test her blood for down's syndrome, and the other two chromosome abnormalities.I have to wait about ten days for those results, but I am not really worried.  The results will not change the way I feel about this baby, but knowing will help me prepare for life with her.

My third appointment was with a dietitian to discuss how to control my blood sugar.  I learned a lot, and so far, I am doing really well keeping my numbers where they should be.  It's going to be a long six months without chocolate, but my little booger is worth it.

It was at my appointment with the genetics counselor that they did an in depth ultrasound, measuring the fold of skin on the back of the bay's neck.  I don't remember which birth defect that detects, but my little booger doesn't have it.  I love being able to see her! She is always so active. At one point, it looked like she was sucking her little thumb. This was my fourth time seeing her, and I can not wait until March when they tell me for sure that she is a little girl.  Or that she is a boy, in which case I have a lot of apologizing to do to my belly! lol!

An Easy Decision

In the beginning of November, I found out I was pregnant.  To say it was a surprise would be an understatement.  I had no intentions of ever having another child.  My family was complete.  My oldest had just turned 17, gotten his driver's license, and a job.  My girls are self sufficient as well.  I love being able to sleep in on my days off.  I laughed a few years ago when my sister had her 4th child at 38.  Now here I am, about to turn 41, and having another baby.

The decision to have this child once I found out I was pregnant was easy.  I don't believe in abortion, though I do believe that each woman has the right to make that decision for herself. (does that make sense?) Unfortunately, this baby's father wanted nothing more than for me to have an abortion.  When I refused, he made it his mission to change my mind, by whatever means possible.  Saying he has made the past two months unbearably difficult would also be an understatement.  Now that I am 12 weeks, he knows he has lost this battle.

I know doing this on my own is going to be hard. Extremely hard. I am already worrying about what I am going to do with her once I go back to work.  Oh, I should probably clarify that I do not know the sex (YET!) but I call her a girl.  My kids are excited about their new half-sibling, and are already offering to help as much as they can, though Brandi refuses to change dirty diapers.  I really can't blame her for that.  I am not looking forward to dirty diapers either.

I am looking forward to meeting this new little creation of mine.  I am looking forward to all the firsts. Looking in her eyes for the first time.  The first time she smiles.  The first time rolls over, sits up on her own, crawls, those first unsteady steps. The first time she calls me Mama.  I wonder who she will grow up to be.  I know God blessed me with this child for a reason.  I may have made a mistake in making her, but God didn't make a mistake when he let her be created.

40 And Pregnant....This Is Going To Be Interesting!

About a month ago, I peed on a stick.  I was a couple of weeks late, but convinced that it was just stress.  Oh, how wrong I was! When I saw that first little line, my heart skipped a beat.  I grabbed the test, ran downstairs to my neighbor's house, and begged my friend to tell me I was not seeing two lines.  I spent a couple of weeks in denial, then after a trip to the emergency room for some bleeding, I couldn't deny it anymore.  I saw my sweet little baby on the ultrasound screen. The heartbeat was weak, and I was told to prepare myself for a miscarriage.  A week and a half later, a trip to my ob showed my little munchkin's heart was beating perfectly, which means barring any future complications, I should deliver sometime in the middle of July. Check out the first picture of my little munchkin: