Thursday, January 3, 2013

An Easy Decision

In the beginning of November, I found out I was pregnant.  To say it was a surprise would be an understatement.  I had no intentions of ever having another child.  My family was complete.  My oldest had just turned 17, gotten his driver's license, and a job.  My girls are self sufficient as well.  I love being able to sleep in on my days off.  I laughed a few years ago when my sister had her 4th child at 38.  Now here I am, about to turn 41, and having another baby.

The decision to have this child once I found out I was pregnant was easy.  I don't believe in abortion, though I do believe that each woman has the right to make that decision for herself. (does that make sense?) Unfortunately, this baby's father wanted nothing more than for me to have an abortion.  When I refused, he made it his mission to change my mind, by whatever means possible.  Saying he has made the past two months unbearably difficult would also be an understatement.  Now that I am 12 weeks, he knows he has lost this battle.

I know doing this on my own is going to be hard. Extremely hard. I am already worrying about what I am going to do with her once I go back to work.  Oh, I should probably clarify that I do not know the sex (YET!) but I call her a girl.  My kids are excited about their new half-sibling, and are already offering to help as much as they can, though Brandi refuses to change dirty diapers.  I really can't blame her for that.  I am not looking forward to dirty diapers either.

I am looking forward to meeting this new little creation of mine.  I am looking forward to all the firsts. Looking in her eyes for the first time.  The first time she smiles.  The first time rolls over, sits up on her own, crawls, those first unsteady steps. The first time she calls me Mama.  I wonder who she will grow up to be.  I know God blessed me with this child for a reason.  I may have made a mistake in making her, but God didn't make a mistake when he let her be created.

8 comments:

Vixen/Apron Frenzy said...

Nothing but love for you and the baby. You are so right, God makes no mistakes. He may allow us to make some, but He doesn't make any. You and the kids are strong and loving and the baby will be enjoyed by all, I know.

StaceyC4 said...

Oh, how I miss those "firsts". With a 21 and 13 year old, there are still firsts but you cannot compare them to those of a new life. So happy and proud of you, Jen!!!

Crystal said...

Long story short from last nights post that DIDN'T, lol! You can do this Jenn. U are loving caring crafty and ur imagination shows in all things that you do and are to ur family. Those kids are good kids that will be there every step of the way and you also have ur mom. Yeah ur 41 but look at it this way....U'll have LOTS more patience than you did with the first three!!!

DysFUNctional Mom said...

Congrats - I wish you the best! You have a great attitude!

Donna said...

Wow! Congratulations! That little baby will be blessed to have you as her mommy!
hughugs

Miranda said...

Congratulations! You will have alot of help from her big sisters!!

Karen said...

This baby was brought into your life for a reason. Your family will be blessed. Tired but blessed. :)

Sally Crowe said...

I haven't been around in a long time, Jenn, but I'me very happy for you! You have a wonderful family! I wish you the very best. :)